peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
