walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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