dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
