I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
His hands were made for my vagina.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I had to cum in my sink.
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