oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
