Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
