I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
she peed on how many people?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
