I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I don't deserve a penis
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
