We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
