i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Randomize
