i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
