Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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