dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
