Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
