i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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