How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
