Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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