I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Send help, water and tortillas.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
