so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
