i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
