i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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