I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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