do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Randomize
