Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
