is your mom at the bar?
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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