People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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