Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
where are my pants?
in the oven.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
