Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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