I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
