I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
