Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
