if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
