I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Someone stole a lamp last night.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
