I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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