I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
