You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
