The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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