i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
