just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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