I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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