To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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