I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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