How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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