How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
