You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
