You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Someone came in the potted fern
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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