my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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