that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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