I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
