Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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