Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
