I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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