she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Porn is love you can see.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
